Auspicious, epochal, farcical

This time of year is auspicious for the Sherriff womenfolk. My wife, sister, stepmother and youngest daughter were all born within two weeks of each other (although on different years). Being the gentleman that I am, I wouldn't dream of revealing my wife's age, but let's just say that yesterday, Yoshie celebrated one of those epochal coming-of-age type ages, but managed to keep her excitement in check to pop out for a spot of clothes shopping and tea drinking while I slaved away at the chalkface. Anyway, amid all the excitement of that, the relegation of my hometown football team, and the spicy Italian we had for dinner (a pizza, that is), I somehow missed the other big story from Britain... the Labour Party imploding in the local elections. Now, dear reader, as a general rule I never heed any political observations from a commentator 6,000 miles from his subject, and I wouldn't expect you to from me, but may I just state for the record, ahem, PULL YOUR FINGER OUT GORDON! How bad things must be if Labour polled third behind the twit-led Tories and the rudderless Lib Dems. And Boris Johnson is mayor of London? It's almost enough to make you want to emigrate.