Cold enough to crumble

Last weekend it was cold enough to put away the shorts and wear jeans for the first time since May. Even better, it was cold enough to justify rolling the kids' sleeves up and cooking  a delicious English dish (yes, there is such a thing) - an apple crumble. Often considered a poor relation to the grander apple pie, I actually prefer it - it's simple to make, always tastes good straight out of the oven and tastes just as good the second or third day chilled from the fridge. Here's the rough recipe I use that my father taught me, which I am doing my best to hand down to the kids (see below for action shot of crumbling in progress):

You will need:

• Four or five large apples
• Lemon juice
• 100g of sugar
• 100g of flour
• 100g of butter
• cinnamon

1. Peel and de-pip the apples, chop into bite-size pieces. Throw them in a saucepan, sprinkle a teaspoon of sugar (to bring out the juice), some cinnamon (for flavour) and a tablespoon of flour (to thicken the juice) and stew for five minutes or so and squirt a bit of lemon juice in
   
2. Pour contents into a deep baking dish or bowl
3. Mix the flour, sugar and butter in another bowl with your hands, rubbing the butter in until what is left is all crumbly.
4. Sprinkle the crumble evenly across the top of the stewed apples.
5. Put in the oven for 20 minutes or so at 160 degrees.
6. Eat with custard, whipped cream or ice cream on top.

Who needs a little help?

While managing to kill the best part of Saturday evening checking e-mail, radically redesigning this blog and then returning it as best I could to the way it was before, I managed to do at least one worthwhile thing. I remembered to donate a little money  to sponsor my brother-in-law who spent Saturday night and Sunday morning cycling 75 miles (125km) cross-country in the dark. Why would he do a thing like that? I'm not sure, but every penny he raised is going to a charity seeking a cure for cystic fibrosis, a life-shortening disease that my niece and nephew were born with. Donating was easy, all I had to do was click on his web page and enter a few numbers, and I felt great, a lot better than my brother-in-law did on Sunday morning, I'd wager. But it got me thinking. I'm running the Teganuma Half-Marathon on October 26th. It's a good opportunity for me to raise some money for charity, but which one should I support? Any suggestions?

Oh, by the way, rest in peace Paul Newman, a rare gent in the Hollywood world who raised more than his fair share for charities. 

At the double

So how did you do in yesterday's pairs competition? If you went for:

• Taro Aso and Kim Jong Il as a natural pair because both are related to previous rulers of their countries
  
• The ibis and Aya Sugimoto because both are doing their bit to save wildlife...

...you would be wrong! The pairs I was thinking of were:

• The ibis and Kim Jong Il - both have been kept alive by the Chinese (doctors for the North Korean dictator and mating partners for the ibis).
• Aya Sugimoto and Taro Aso - one writes rubbish and the other reads rubbish.

Thank you very much. Now enjoy another gratuitous picture of the naked bird in yesterday's post:

 

Double or nothing news quiz

Hey there Saturday browsers, fancy a news quiz Japanese style? These are some of the biggest (or at least most easily illustrated) stories doing the rounds over here. Can you arrange the four into two natural pairs? There is no correct answer, but 10 points if you can guess what was in my head...

New Japanese Prime Minister, Taro Aso, an avid reader of manga comics and grandson-in-law of a former prime minister, reveals his new cabinet, as reported by the Mainichi Daily News.

North Korea's beloved father of the nation, Kim Jong Il, may or may not be a bit poorly.

Aya Sugimoto, actress and "respected erotic novelist" according to the The Japan Times, bares all in opposition to the fur business.

One of 10 rare Crested Ibises is released into the wild, as reported by The Japan Times.

Any suggestions? Answers posted tomorrow at 9am Japan time. For more fun with quizzes while you wait for the answer, click here.

Rationally superstitious

Space is money in Japan. So, rationally speaking, why have an attractive front garden, when you can convert it into a parking lot? But, what's going on here? Has the samurai counting system gone wrong? Did the fellow with the white paint have a missing Ruby Ring finger? I'm guessing not. The inability to count to five was in fact a case of common sense, Japanese style. Nobody would want to rent space four because the number can be pronounced "shi" which also means death. Rational and superstitious, all in one go. 

All aboard

I was going to pontificate about the new President of the Liberal Democratic Party (the perennial party in power here), who has automatically become the new prime minister (pictured left, the one without loin cloth). The most interesting thing about him is that his name, Mr Aso, sounds rude in English. He is allegedly gaffe-prone, so there may be more interesting times ahead. His policies appear to be to increase spending and cut taxes. He has a reputation as a nationalist and allegedly likes reading manga comics. The man also likes wearing dapper suits, so he is a bit more exciting than catching a train, which made me think, perhaps the folks back in Blighty might enjoy watching me doing just that. Well, I do like to please, so here goes. This was shot a few weeks back on a Sunday shopping trip. Have you got your ticket?

Why the blank face?

The Japanese love all things cute, or kawaii, in the lingo, and there appears to be no greater compliment to make to children, pets and foreigners than to exclaim "Kawaii!" I'm not sure what the correct response should be ("Thank you very much" "You too" or "Mind your own business") but the cult of the kawaii is endemic, as demonstrated by the girls (above) with Mell-chan, a sickly sweet purveyor of kiddie products. In fact, it comes as quite a shock when things are not quite as kawaii as expected:

Hmm. Familiar, but a little odd. They don't have heads. They're just photos for faces, admit it. But not nearly as scary as...

...the zombies with no faces. Whatever happened to cute dummies?

A taste of home

It's always nice to get a picture from home. Here's my little sister, Jane, in my hometown of little old Leicester, previously known as the world capital for, er, rather fatty red cheddar and Gary Lineker (below). But wait a minute what's that behind her? A sushi restaurant? In Leicester? Yes folks, it's true. Does this mean Leicester is moving upmarket? I doubt it, it probably just means sushi is becoming more downmarket in Britain. But this is still a reason to celebrate. If I can eat KFC in Japan, I don't see why the good folk of Leicester shouldn't have a taste of the orient. By the way, did I ever tell you about my distant relative, Amos Sherriff, the first Labour Lord Mayor of Leicester...?

New face at Tower English

What on Earth is this? Well, unlike recent posts, I actually know the answer. This is Noppon, the official mascot of Tokyo Tower, the largest iron structure in Japan (it's about one thousand feet high, I think). Helpfully, if you unscrew his head, there is a ball-point pen underneath. Worryingly for a tall building mascot though, he is not very stable on his feet, a little top heavy, and, as can be seen from the second picture, he is a little, well, little. Yoshie thinks he looks strange and I can't decide if he is cute or sinister, but Emma has taken a shine to him and he was a present from a student who lives across the road, so he will be staying.

Back from the big city

Grub's up! The kids make rice balls for tea.

Well, I survived a night out in Tokyo, catching up with former colleagues at the Daily Yomiuri and enjoying a great Canadian/British pub in Meguro (a posh area of Tokyo) called The Black Lion. I enjoyed it a little too much, and fell asleep on the train home on the Yamanote line, which circles central Tokyo, missed my connecting train and ended up stranded in the big city at 1:30am. However, by the glories of modern communication, my resourceful wife back home found a hotel for me and guided me safely there like an operative helping Jack Bauer save the world on 24 armed only with truth, justice and a mobile phone. Anyway, we had a lazy Sunday and the kids helped make tea - Swedish meatballs and onigiri (balls of rice with salmon, wrapped in seaweed). It's lovely to be home.

"I'm all alone in the big city, I need your help..."

"There's a hotel round the corner, I've made the reservation, they are expecting you."

Commentator's curse

What a difference a day makes. Yesterday, I blithely stated how safe Japan was, only to read today about the murder of a schoolboy in a park, the continuing inability of the police to catch the killer of an English teacher, and the 10th straight year that at least 30,000 people have committed suicide. Clearly, all is not well over here. It reminded me of a comment from a Japanese student I taught 10 years ago who had lived for some time in the UK. I asked him what the differences between the UK and Japan were. He said the UK had the little things wrong, but the big things right, but it was vice versa in Japan. For example, in the UK if you wanted to get out of an intercity train, you had to lower the window, stick your hand out and open the door manually from the outside, but you were free to spend the whole weekend with the family rather than playing golf with clients. He didn't give examples for Japan missing the wood for the trees, but I suppose you could cite the extreme punctuality of Japanese (my students often apologise for being late for a lesson when they arrive only two minutes early!) but then are expected to put in countless hours of unpaid overtime at work. But I've learnt my lesson - never generalise. Anyway, I'm off for a drink in Tokyo, so call the cops if I don't post anything on Sunday. 

Mean streets of Kounoyama

Japan, as we all know, is a very law-abiding, safe country. But I have to report a disturbing increase in crime. According to the local council newsletter, in our neighbourhood of Kounoyama, with I think 1,000 or so households, one bicycle was stolen. Granted, this was for a three-month period, but it was the first bike to be nicked in a year or so since we've lived here. And look at that picture of a park bench... what may be a typical sight in Vicky Park, Leicester, is something of a rarity round these parts. It wasn't me, I hasten to add, I gave up smoking years ago. I can only blame the youth of today, which brings me to a nice little quote I found in a textbook the other day: 

Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders; they contradict their parents and tyrannize their teachers.

Who spoke these wise words? Sarah Palin? Barack Obama? Boris Johnson? No, it was in fact Socrates, who died in 399BC. But I bet even he couldn't solve the riddle of the lake. 

Dancing girls, super heroes and the morris men

Now, regular visitors to this blog will know, I try my best to understand what is going on around me, offer a few pithy comments and let the pictures do the talking. But every now and then, I feel I should interpret what I have seen for the benefit of the hard-of-thinking. Consider Exhibit A, members of the Tower Tales jury:

 

I think we can establish beyond any reasonable doubt that this is a form of morris dancing. The dancing girls are hoping that their exhortations will bring about a bountiful harvest that will enable their mobile phones to recharge throughout the year. It makes about as much sense as the kappa festival, after all. Well, what do you think is going on here?

Western star, Eastern profit

Hey, there's that cool Tommy Lee Jones chap. Is he chasing a fugitive from justice across the Tokyo metropolis jumping from one bullet train roof to another? Er, no, he's flogging vending machine coffee on a commuter train.  

753

The Japanese love their lucky numbers. Three of the most important prime numbers are seven, five and three, which have been elevated into key numbers in the life of children. Since this year Katherine will be seven years old and Emma three, this is so auspicious we have to whip them down to the shinto shrine and get a blessing from a priest, according to the shichi-go-san rites of passage. So, yesterday we went along to a local shrine (not the one I filmed the other day, but similar) and the kids picked out their kimono for the ceremony. I wasn't allowed to take pictures of the kimono, so you will have to make do with shots here of the kids praying for good luck, the shrine where the blessing will occur (other folk were in it today, can you see their shoes?) and an old Mini in the compound presumably belonging to the priest. Rest assured I will record the grand occasion next month for Tower Tales aficionados. in the meantime, for more fun with numbers, click here.

English for dummies

Look, I don't have a thing about mannequins, honest, they just keep popping up in unexpected places and sometimes can be mistaken for real people. Well, here is a more stylised one (with brown hair and big round eyes) where you would expect to find one - in a department store. But this one is proudly sporting her English motto "Love spicy girls bluecross" on her, er, zip-up bodywarmer thing. What's that badge on her super-fashionable purple woolly hat? Oh, it's her cry to her fashion-conscious sisters: "Spicy not sweet, be cool! Bluecross." Indeed. It's what all the dummies will be saying this autumn.

Backstage at a Hawaiian festival

Ah, another weekend at Teganuma lake, another Hawaiian hula festival. What is it with Japan and Hawaii? The default location for holiday/retirement/dream second homes (not to mention a date which will live in infamy), the place is so popular with Japanese you can go there and not have to speak a word of English. Anyway, here is a performance earlier today featuring one of my students. No nodding off at the back there.

Counting for samurai

Ichi, ni, san, shi, go, rokku, nana samurai...

The Japanese have an advantage over Westerners when it comes to counting. Ask someone in Leicester to count off ten items in a list (say like the 10 best nights out of all time at The Clarendon pub) and they will need both hands and all fingers. But the Japanese can count to 10 one-handed. Here's how to count, shall we say, according to the way of the samurai:

1. Choose a hand and spread the fingers out, palm facing you.
2. Fold your Tommy Thumb into the centre of the hand and say "ichi" (one)
3. Fold the Peter Pointer finger over the thumb and say "ni" (two)
4. Repeat with remaining fingers saying, in order, "san, shi, go" (three, four, five)
5. If you have done this correctly you should now be staring at a clenched fist, with the thumb hidden from view.
6. Now, lift your Baby Small finger back into its starting (straight) position and say "rokku" (six)
7. Then lift your Ruby Ring finger, saying "nana" (seven).
8. Repeat with remaining fingers, and lastly with thumb, stating "hachi, kyu, ju" (eight, nine, ten).
9. You should now be staring at your open palm.
10. You have mastered counting in the way of the samurai.

You are now free to count to 10 and use your redundant hand for other tasks, such as dicing a peasant or changing the TV channel, or even dipping your tempura in the ginger while making a hilarious joke in Japanese. 

Odd one out for dummies

If you thought the last odd one out competition was too easy, try this one on for size. No inanimate objects were harmed in the writing of this post and all participants were asked to pose for the camera, none objected.

Hello, what school do you go to?

Hey, your sister is not very talkative. Do you like tartan?

 

Well, do you like tartan? You're talking with your hands, but not with your mouth...  wait a minute, something's not quite right here...

Ahh, now I understand - you are mimes performing a silent salute to the Beijing Olympics. By the way, Happy Birthday, Kevin.

Wonderful wander

Ever wondered what a window-shopping wander would be like with us? Well, wonder no more, and wander away. Sorry, the pun and alliteration are a bit tiresome I know, but I have nothing deep and meaningful to offer about this video, other than it is a slice of life in a Japanese shopping arcade:

Highlights, in case you missed them:

0:23 Ice cream shop with plastic menu-item display

0:51 Double glazing saleswoman (well, maybe)

1:22 Woman wearing "Make up your mind" T-shirt

1:48 High school girls in uniform

2:00 Fishmonger and chap cooking savory pancakes shaped like fish 

2:12 Pachinko parlour

2:21 Sign for a manga reading room boasting private booths. 

2:27 Women hawking mobile phones

2:32 Noodle shop plastic menu and payment machine

2:52 Woman hawking mobile phones 

3:02 Man taking a picture of a TV screen

3:11 Another woman hawking mobile phones

3:23 A zebra crossing. Can you hear the electronic cuckoo whose call means it is safe to cross?

School report

I've been asked to comment on the education system over here by a regular comment-leaver - Dr. Datsun Kildare (that's not his real name, and I know he isn't a real doctor at all, but we went to the same junior school, so I cut him some slack). I'm happy to offer the positives that I've seen:

• Katherine's summer homework (she's in the first year - the school year starts in April here) was to write a book report in Japanese (see above), explaining the story and then how the book made her feel; to grow a flower through the summer holidays (a morning glory) and draw its blooms and retrieve its seeds; and to make something she liked (she made a karaoke box out of cardboard and foil).
• There are no caretakers or dinner ladies so all children share all the cleaning and cooking duties around the school.
• All children are told to walk to school by themselves, parents are not allowed to drop them off by car.
• Even though we are in the commuter-belt for Tokyo, the primary school has extensive vegetable patches that are tended by the children.

On the whole, Katherine seems to be happy and learning good things. There are of course negatives, but I'll save those for another day...

Brand new day

The flying visit of Cocko and Co. (I really must stop calling him that) got me thinking about Britain's standing in Japan. In the US, Britain is seen as a slightly effete, slightly haughty, fairly shabby country run by toffs, whereas the Japanese look at the same evidence and come to a more flattering conclusion. Japanese ladies often tell me they would like to take afternoon tea in the Cotswolds. Folk here assume Britain is a more powerful country than it is and are surprised to learn that it has less than half the population of Japan and is about a 50th the size of the USA. By the way, no-one has heard of Britain's alleged special relationship with America. The Japanese believe they have an especially close relationship with Uncle Sam as favoured younger brother. As far as I can tell, Americans have no knowledge of either special relationship and would be checking both of our IDs at the gate to the family barbecue. Anyway, just to prove that Britain is a brand, here's the image...      

...and here's the reality:

England on tour

Nothing's gonna stop us now...

It's tough being bimbo hima nashi, er, that is, always working, but still poor - the mantra of the salaryman. I'd love to be able to fly back to England for a holiday, but this weekend we had the next best thing - a little bit of England came to Abiko in the shape of Cocko and his friends from Mickleover and Littleover, Ian and Gemma. The three have been trekking round the country and saw fit to swing by with Sheryn, an Australian studying Japanese in Sapporo, whom they befriended while watching a psychic spoon bender in Matsuyama. We showed them the delights of natto (fermented soy beans that smell like a teenager's socks), and they returned the favour with their karaoke versions of Nirvana's Teen Spirit and other songs I can now no longer listen to in the same way again. But seriously folks, we had a great night out on Saturday and capped it off with a lovely picnic on Sunday on the banks of Teganuma. Many thanks to students Junko, Miwa, Yukino and Yoko who braved the rigours of the Derby accent in the interests of improving international relations. I was sad to say goodbye, but you can follow the Derby adventurers' next escapade on Gemma's blog.

James samples the delicacy of natto...

Nothing's gonna stop Gemma and Ian now. 

Ah, a nice quiet spot at last. 

'biko bus stop blues

If you ever find yourself on a Sunday afternoon waiting at the Abiko train station for a bus to downtown Kounoyama, where we live, there's a good chance you'll hear a little Mississippi Delta blues. There's a chap who sits by the bus stop most Sundays and plays for free - buskers here don't seem to do it for money, at least his guitar case is always closed. Anyway, I thought I would bring him to a wider audience (although there were more people waiting for the bus than read this blog on a Sunday, ahem). So here's a video of me wandering around trying to oh-so-subtly film him. Next time, I think I'll just ask him if I can record him. Without further ado, here's The 'biko Bus Stop Blues:

Odd one out: 2

Here's a brain-teaser for all you Saturday browsers. Can you spot the odd one out here of these typically Japanese buildings that I snapped on my travels? (Usual odd one out rules apply.)

Traditional...

...inspirational...

...er, convenient for the airport?

The same, but different

I read somewhere (so it must be true) that Japan watchers end up arguing from one of two positions:

1. Scratch the surface, and Japan is just like every other country.
2. The country and its people are incomprehensibly different, so don't even try to understand the place.

I'd like to think the truth is somewhere between the two extremes because if you subscribe to the second view, horrors like the A-bomb become an easy reality, but if you believe the first, you will miss the local flavour that makes the world a more interesting place. So, in the spirit of cultural exploration and understanding, here are some pictures I took while shopping this weekend, proving that the Japanese are both like everyone else, and very different at the same time.

Well, the English almost makes sense, if a little mysterious on this sign by the entrance to an indoor market. What would cause shoppers' eyes to sparkle? Why, maybe this:

No, it's not what you think, it is in fact for a racially insensitive novelty ashtray:

Hmm. Not quite the wife's cup of tea. Maybe she would prefer one of these:

Yes, it's dressing-up for adults featuring maids, airline stewardesses, high school students, and perhaps most worryingly, assistants at shinto shrines (bottom row, fourth from the right). Just what kind of market is this, you might be wondering...    

...it's the kind of market that sells good old Wedgwood porcelain all the way from the Potteries of little old England. Now, that's definitely more my wife's cup of tea, but maybe not served from this drinks dispenser: