Architectural feat

I've been told that the Japanese don't go in for DIY, that they prefer things made expertly by others and are prepared to pay top dollar (especially at the current exchange rate) for the finished article. So it was particularly refreshing for me to discover this homemade monstrosity 10 minute's bike ride away in the wilds of Shibasakidai.

Is this a warehouse, shed or sport utility vehicle? No matter, whoever made it was happy to use whatever was at hand, be it a couple of old doors, piece of corrugated iron or tarpaulin and the end result is, well, more borg collective than des res. I'm not that sure the neighbours, a swanky old folks' home, are too chuffed with the view though... 

For more fun with buildings, click here.

Fish tales

It almost goes without saying, but Japanese love fish. They love ornamental fish and of course they love to eat fish. They eat just about every kind there is, from jellyfish to whale (neither of which are really fish). Baked, fried, marinated, stewed, pickled, dried and of course raw, fish can be consumed in a startling variety of ways here. So, it is a little disappointing to see the keen angler eager to pit his skills against the natural world to catch his own dinner stuck on the banks of a congested manmade pool with half of Abiko's retirees in attendance.

Speaking of a congested manmade pool, I'm running a half-marathon round the lake near my house on Sunday. You can still sponsor me here. Why should you?

• Reason #3: Consider a donation a small repayment on the hours of fun you can get from reading Tower Tales.

Shichi-go-san, part III - or 'Give us a twirl, girls'

Is it possible to move gracefully while wearing a kimono? The fleeting beauty of the kimono-clad young geisha serving green tea with subtle nods of the head and flashes of the nape of the neck is often celebrated. But how easy is it to actually get up and move in something that takes an hour and several pairs of hands to put on? Well, here is a video from the girls' 7-5-3 ceremony to demonstrate how to move with - here come some technical terms -  all the bits and bobs that hang down:

Speaking of moving gracefully, did you know on Sunday, I'm running a half-marathon round the lake near my house. You can still sponsor me here. Why should you?

• Reason #4: Every five pounds (¥1,000) raised means four new books for the poorest people in the world. If they read all of them, they are more than qualified to be Vice President of the USA.
  

Nothing to fear but beer itself

It looks like my worst fears are being realised... Obama is behind in the polls? My wife has bought a family ticket for Disneyland? No, far worse. In the wake of the banana shortage due to the stupid banana diet, I stupidly spoke my mind in the blog post:

Here's hoping no-one ever loses weight on a Suntory Malts beer diet.

Well, it looks like the agents for the beer giants have taken my advice to heart. My friends, I was only joking. I take it back. Please.

Speaking of  losing weight, ahem,  on Sunday, I'm running a half-marathon round the lake near my house. You can still sponsor me here. Why should you?

• Reason #5: Using your credit cards to make a charitable donation is like giving twice - not only will you help the poorest kids in Africa, but you will also alleviate the credit crunch thus oiling the wheels of capitalism (which oppressed the continent in the first place). Er, on second thoughts...

Insider's view - Shichi-go-san Part II

It's not everyday that you get blessed by a shinto priest (pictured above), and even rarer when you video it and put it on the internet for everyone to see. Granted,  these are not the most exciting clips you can get on the internet. I'm aware that there are far more "world's funniest cat/dog/rabbit on a treadmill" clips than anyone could possibly dream of out there, but I figured you don't see this everyday. Normally, the closest even an adventurous tourist might get to this is wandering aimlessly around a shrine wondering what on earth it is all about. Well, wander/wonder no more. The first clip features our friendly parish priest getting the attention of the gods and chanting a prayer to wish good luck upon the handful of three, five and seven-year-olds gathered for their 7-5-3 ceremony:

Have you even been blessed by a shinto priest? No? Well, here's your chance, just bow your head reverently when he starts, er, doing his bit:

Speaking of doing your bit, on Sunday, I'm running a half-marathon round the lake near my house. You can still sponsor me here. Why should you?

• Reason #6: Donate even a little, and then I'll stop going on about it, and get back to funny videos of cats on treadmills and mildly subversive swipes at Republican presidential hopefuls.

Shichi-go-san, part I

The girls got to live out their dream yesterday - not the one involving moving to Tokyo Disney Sea - but to be proper little princesses for the 7-5-3 festival. At least, that's what we told them to keep Emma happy (she had a temper tantrum in the morning at home, declaring she was not going to wear a kimono). I think you might agree from the pictures, we're glad we convinced her royal highness to do the business.

By the way, on Sunday, I'm running a half-marathon round the lake near my house. You can still sponsor me here. Why should you?

• Reason #7: What with the global financial meltdown, money's not worth anything anyway. 
  

Green with envy

What a load of rubbish. No, not the third and final presidential debate, but the collection point for our block just outside our house. This was the sight that greeted me yesterday morning, which being Thursday, meant recycle day - or if you are an enterprising foreigner with no shame - rummage-through-and-see-if-there's-anything-worth-taking day. Usually, in amongst the neatly tied up newspapers, glass bottles sorted according to colour, plastic PET bottles stashed in green nets and plastic packaging in plastic bags, there's the odd gem like a set of golf clubs or collection of antique books or perfectly usable plant pots. This morning, however, there were four adult bikes left, that appear to need only a little oil and the tyres pumping up. I would have liberated them but for the fact that we already have all the bikes we need and their re-sale value is next to nothing. Still, seems like a terrible waste though. This is a country where Ebay has never really taken off.

Dutch courage

Ah, more of the joys of walking by Teganuma. Spend any time here at this beguiling spot of a playground with a fake windmill beside a tributary to the lake, and you could almost believe that you were in the Dutch countryside enjoying the taste of Edam and the smell of, er, clogs... almost but for one jarring detail... 

... the whopping great electricity pylon next door.

Banana diet - it's crackers

Hot on the heels of the Chinese dumpling crisis, baby milk contamination and butter shortage, comes another food flap in Japan. The slightly comical yellow fruit (pictured left for those unable to remember what a banana looks like) is harder to find here than elbow room on a rush-hour train. Yoshie first noticed the lack of the things last week when she was trying to stock up for her banana diet (which entails eating only a banana for breakfast with a glass of tepid water, and then anything you like for the rest of the day). Apparently, she was not alone in following this nonsensical food fad, half of Japan seems to be on this diet - hence the shortage. Why? Apparently some fat Japanese opera singer lost weight while on this diet and went and told a TV show. Here's hoping no-one ever loses weight on a Suntory Malts beer diet.

The view from abroad

While you're reading this, I'm probably "running" our first annual speech day (running around after small children and cajoling the adults into giving a speech), so until the results are in from the day, how about a little slide show and music? This from Ian (also known as Donald) the young chap with a beard (no, not me, I said young chap) who visited us recently with James and Gemma from Derby:

 

Signed up, signed off

It's been a tiring week, what with preparing for our one-year-in-business-and-still-surviving speech day, planning our school Halloween parties as well as teaching all our regular lessons, so how better to relax than to go shopping. When you suffer from sub-editors/English teacher's syndrome - the constant need to correct bad English signs - shopping can get stressful. In England, the syndrome usually means getting easily offended by the absence of apostrophes. In Japan, however, you have a lot more to get your teeth into. The use of English on signs here seems to be for spin rather than susbstance, and is usually one of three types:

1. Nearly but not quite: This grating sign greets me every time I leave Abiko station:

2. Excellent English, but somewhat inappropriate. This in the Abiko McDonald's:

3. Complete gibberish. This above a pair of shorts in a shop:

Would you buy a used car from this man?

Well, he's not a actually man, he is a tanuki. The beast exists in real life, translated clumsily into English as a "raccoon dog". They still live in the remoter areas of Japan, and their effigies can be seen outside many pubs and eateries throughout the nation as they are mythically fond of a beer and a good time. Though quite what he is doing strapped to the side of second-hand car dealership in downtown Kounoyama, I don't know, ditto the fibreglass pig:

And as for the Halloween-esque Minnie Mouse, I can only say she is almost as scary as the real thing.

Rationally superstitious

Space is money in Japan. So, rationally speaking, why have an attractive front garden, when you can convert it into a parking lot? But, what's going on here? Has the samurai counting system gone wrong? Did the fellow with the white paint have a missing Ruby Ring finger? I'm guessing not. The inability to count to five was in fact a case of common sense, Japanese style. Nobody would want to rent space four because the number can be pronounced "shi" which also means death. Rational and superstitious, all in one go. 

Why the blank face?

The Japanese love all things cute, or kawaii, in the lingo, and there appears to be no greater compliment to make to children, pets and foreigners than to exclaim "Kawaii!" I'm not sure what the correct response should be ("Thank you very much" "You too" or "Mind your own business") but the cult of the kawaii is endemic, as demonstrated by the girls (above) with Mell-chan, a sickly sweet purveyor of kiddie products. In fact, it comes as quite a shock when things are not quite as kawaii as expected:

Hmm. Familiar, but a little odd. They don't have heads. They're just photos for faces, admit it. But not nearly as scary as...

...the zombies with no faces. Whatever happened to cute dummies?

New face at Tower English

What on Earth is this? Well, unlike recent posts, I actually know the answer. This is Noppon, the official mascot of Tokyo Tower, the largest iron structure in Japan (it's about one thousand feet high, I think). Helpfully, if you unscrew his head, there is a ball-point pen underneath. Worryingly for a tall building mascot though, he is not very stable on his feet, a little top heavy, and, as can be seen from the second picture, he is a little, well, little. Yoshie thinks he looks strange and I can't decide if he is cute or sinister, but Emma has taken a shine to him and he was a present from a student who lives across the road, so he will be staying.

Dancing girls, super heroes and the morris men

Now, regular visitors to this blog will know, I try my best to understand what is going on around me, offer a few pithy comments and let the pictures do the talking. But every now and then, I feel I should interpret what I have seen for the benefit of the hard-of-thinking. Consider Exhibit A, members of the Tower Tales jury:

 

I think we can establish beyond any reasonable doubt that this is a form of morris dancing. The dancing girls are hoping that their exhortations will bring about a bountiful harvest that will enable their mobile phones to recharge throughout the year. It makes about as much sense as the kappa festival, after all. Well, what do you think is going on here?

Western star, Eastern profit

Hey, there's that cool Tommy Lee Jones chap. Is he chasing a fugitive from justice across the Tokyo metropolis jumping from one bullet train roof to another? Er, no, he's flogging vending machine coffee on a commuter train.  

753

The Japanese love their lucky numbers. Three of the most important prime numbers are seven, five and three, which have been elevated into key numbers in the life of children. Since this year Katherine will be seven years old and Emma three, this is so auspicious we have to whip them down to the shinto shrine and get a blessing from a priest, according to the shichi-go-san rites of passage. So, yesterday we went along to a local shrine (not the one I filmed the other day, but similar) and the kids picked out their kimono for the ceremony. I wasn't allowed to take pictures of the kimono, so you will have to make do with shots here of the kids praying for good luck, the shrine where the blessing will occur (other folk were in it today, can you see their shoes?) and an old Mini in the compound presumably belonging to the priest. Rest assured I will record the grand occasion next month for Tower Tales aficionados. in the meantime, for more fun with numbers, click here.

English for dummies

Look, I don't have a thing about mannequins, honest, they just keep popping up in unexpected places and sometimes can be mistaken for real people. Well, here is a more stylised one (with brown hair and big round eyes) where you would expect to find one - in a department store. But this one is proudly sporting her English motto "Love spicy girls bluecross" on her, er, zip-up bodywarmer thing. What's that badge on her super-fashionable purple woolly hat? Oh, it's her cry to her fashion-conscious sisters: "Spicy not sweet, be cool! Bluecross." Indeed. It's what all the dummies will be saying this autumn.

Backstage at a Hawaiian festival

Ah, another weekend at Teganuma lake, another Hawaiian hula festival. What is it with Japan and Hawaii? The default location for holiday/retirement/dream second homes (not to mention a date which will live in infamy), the place is so popular with Japanese you can go there and not have to speak a word of English. Anyway, here is a performance earlier today featuring one of my students. No nodding off at the back there.