Week away from politics

In my travels through my links list, I found this cartoon on the New York Times website and thought I should share it with the fair folk who visit Tower Tales for the zen-like political enlightenment here (I'm joking, already). And for the politics junkies who have been missing their fix since the US elections finished a week ago, here's a romp down memory (and the bowling) lane:

 

Anybody mind if Obama starts a little early?

Ok, Ok, I know I said, "welcome back to Japan" in yesterday's post, but, hey, I just couldn't resist this I-told-you-so moment on the Letterman show:

To see what on earth Dave was talking about, click here.

The stuff of dreams (and nightmares)

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to believe that our actions are more important than they really are. I was in the crowd in Little Rock, Arkansas, one cold November night back in 1992 when the election was called for Bill Clinton. I don't remember exactly what he said that night, but there was a feeling in the air that we were making history. I think my brother still has a copy of the Arkansas Democrat Gazette and the New York Times proclaiming Clinton as the 42nd President, he thought they might be worth something one day. Bush Sr was vanquished, the first baby-boomer was about to enter the White House and we thought things were going to get better.

And they did, sort of. Sure, there was death in the Balkans and murder in Rwanda, but there was hope in the Middle East and peace in Northern Ireland. And the good guys were in charge. The cold of Reaganism was out, a warmer third way was in.

Then came the son of Bush, the neo-cons and the disaster of Iraq. Now, thinking back to that chilly night by the Arkansas River, I can't say that 1992 was the beginning of anything historic. But what happened on Tuesday in the United States, surely, was. 

A man who argued for peace is in charge of the world's most powerful country. He got there by forging a coalition based on unity, rather than exploiting division. Oh, and he's black.

We hear so much about the American Dream, but are all too aware of the reality of racism and war. Well, here is a man who could put both nightmares to bed. I only wish my mother and grandmother were alive today to witness this moment.

Hail to None of the Above

It's odd being out here in Japan waiting for the results of Tuesday's vote in the US, not least because it is Wednesday here already. As a former newspaper journalist I can attest to the tedium of collating local council results while wishing I could be at home to watch the national results on the telly. This time round I will be watching the results as best I can exclusively via the internet, and you can too with the handy widget I've bolted onto the bottom of this post, or watch the TV above. I will miss the traditional newsroom feast of delivery pizza, but I will raise a glass if the best man does indeed win.

By the way, the voting is complete in the Tower Tales presidential poll. If its unfeasible results from 24 votes cast sometime in the last 185 days were replicated in real life, here is what would have happened:

• In fourth place with 8 percent of the popular vote: John McCain
• Third, with 20 percent: Hillary Clinton
• Second, with  29 percent: Barack Obama
  
• First, with 41 percent: None of the Above.

The last word

Oh, and this from Obama at his last campaign rally in Virginia:

Thinking about the election

Tired of  all the brouhaha of the competing candidates, but still can't decide who would make the better leader of the Western world? (If you haven't decided by now, what planet do you live on?) Why not consider the "game changing" endorsement of Obama by Colin Powell, with a fair summary of McCain's failings: 

Still can't decide? Click here to see the moment McCain lost it.

The new, new McCain

Never let it be said that I've got it in for McCain. It's just I couldn't resist posting this video from a couple of weeks ago:

Think Tower Tales is taking politics far too seriously, click here for a little brain teaser.

Busting a few myths

If you thought Americans had the option of choosing a maverick war hero with a hatred for the politics of the Washington elite, think again. Take a look at this video from Rolling Stone (the magazine, not the group, sadly):

But I still think McCain's Pooh-san's double.

Happy Halloween!

Pretty scary, huh? Mind you, John McCain seems like a breath of fresh air in Japan, which has been stuck with one-party rule since 1945 (with a brief exception in the 1990s after the Japanese economic miracle bubble miraculously burst). Japan does have a new prime minister who promised new elections, but he has decided the severity of the world's economic crisis means it's a bad time to exercise democracy (that, and his extremely low approval ratings).

By the way, don't worry, the white background will be back tomorrow once the, er, excitement of Halloween has passed.

All aboard the political express

Just to give you a clue about Tower Tales' coverage of the American Presidential Election on November 4th. I wanted to make sure every reader is completely clear on the political objectivity of Tower Tales. Allow me to demonstrate with the aid of a handy graphic I found lying around in my Google in-box:

As you can see, from here on in, the election coverage will be completely partial, biased and one-sided. For your chance to vote in the election, click here.

If the world could vote...

...Obama would  be president. Speaking as a resident of the rest of the world, it comes as no surprise that Obama has streaked ahead of McCain in the affections of non-Americans. He can string more than three sentences together, he's not related to any former presidents and his middle name doesn't bother two-thirds of the world. Anyway, here is a little Gallup map of the world according to voting intentions, if we had the right to choose our world's leader. The grey/blue parts are pro-Obama, the yellow, don't know/don't care and the red are pro-McCain. Not a lot of red is there? Click here to visit the interactive map and see how your favoured country would vote. Peeved about having no vote? You have eight days left to vote in the Tower Tales poll on the right. I note that "None of the above" is giving my Grandma's Party a run for their money, but I have hope Obama can swing it.

Speaking of a world desperate for change, I'm running a half-marathon round the lake near my house on Sunday. You can still sponsor me here. Why should you?

• Reason #2: Sub-Saharan Africa is pro-Obama.

Fun with the financial meltdown

I'm probably off at the shichi-go-san festival as you read this, so let me hand over to my vice president brother-in-law, Matthew, who has passed on this e-mail of vital import about the current financial crisis. There may be a prize for correctly guessing the number of puns:

• Icelandic banks are using COD to honour deals, not Cash on Delivery but the fish which provides them with liquidity.
• The mighty German Frankfurter Bank can no longer cut the mustard while in the far east The Origami bank has folded.
• Furthermore Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut some of it's branches. 
• Yesterday it was also announced that Karaoke Bank, now for sale, will go for a song while shares in Kamikaze Bank have been suspended after they nose-dived.
• Samurai Bank is soldiering on after sharp cutbacks and 500 staff at Karate Bank are facing the chop. Analysts report something fishy at Sushi Bank where staff may also get a raw deal.
• More breaking news in France where Roquefort Bank failed to secure a compensation claim is a case of hard cheese and in Switzerland, to save costs Tag Heuer have gone cuckoo.
  

Enough already. Here's your prize: 60 seconds with the next leader of the free world, and the loser:

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

Separated at birth?

Is it me or does Republican candidate for US President John McCain have an uncanny resemblance to another aging American hero?

John McCain

Winnie the Pooh

It's all in the cheeks. OK, so Winnie the Pooh was originally British before Disney's colonisation, but we're all Americans now. Sort of. By the way, did you know that Winnie the Pooh is known as Pooh-san in Japan?

If you think this post is vaguely amusing, why not show your appreciation by making a donation, no matter how small, Cocko, to a worthwhile cause... just click here. And, thanks Kevin and Angie, as trained librarians I knew you couldn't resist this charity.

They call him the wanderer...

It almost makes you feel sorry for McCain when you see his performance in the second presidential debate lampooned by the American talk show establishment. Almost, but not quite:

But then, read the thoughtful endorsement of Obama by cult journo Christopher Hitchens here, and you can actually feel sympathy. McCain deserves a break, and a seat, but not necessarily in government.

Speaking of sympathy, do you have any for me? Remember, I'm pitting my 37-year-old, instant-coffee-fueled body against the wilds of Teganuma lake in a half-marathon a week on Sunday. Many thanks to those who have donated to the charity Book Aid (you've both been very kind), but for those who haven't, brother can you spare a digital dime? Click here to help me on my way.

In case you missed it, my friends

I was chatting to an American friend the other day who bemoaned the dumbing down of politics in the US. He wondered when ignorance began to be more electable than knowledge. He figured it began in 1980 with the advent of Reagan, I think it probably goes back before then, but my attention span isn't what it used to be, so, in keeping with current political discourse, here are the one-minute highlights of the second presidential debate (now, there's a smart idea):

You decide...

One of the following could be the leader of the Western World should something happen to the President. Who would you trust in that position? 

 

Now vote. If you can't, vote in the poll on the right. By the way, Hillary probably can't win now.

One year of independence

Folks, today is an auspicious day indeed. Not only has the visit counter hit 1776 - the year of America's foundation - and the US Vice Presidential candidates are ready to rumble in a few hours, but it is also another anniversary. It was one year ago today that Tower English opened its doors to three mothers and their toddlers for our first playgroup. We had a grand total of three students signed up for weekly lessons and we had only about as much money in the bank as the Lehman Brothers do now, but how the investment bank must be looking enviously at our balance sheet now. It's often said that going into business on your own is risky, but as the current financial crisis confirms, doing the same old thing is even riskier. Anyway, we've been lucky and are holding a party on Sunday at the local community centre to give thanks with over 100 guests connected to our school. We'll definitely be showing up, unlike a certain guest on Letterman, America's pre-eminent talk show:

Brand new day

The flying visit of Cocko and Co. (I really must stop calling him that) got me thinking about Britain's standing in Japan. In the US, Britain is seen as a slightly effete, slightly haughty, fairly shabby country run by toffs, whereas the Japanese look at the same evidence and come to a more flattering conclusion. Japanese ladies often tell me they would like to take afternoon tea in the Cotswolds. Folk here assume Britain is a more powerful country than it is and are surprised to learn that it has less than half the population of Japan and is about a 50th the size of the USA. By the way, no-one has heard of Britain's alleged special relationship with America. The Japanese believe they have an especially close relationship with Uncle Sam as favoured younger brother. As far as I can tell, Americans have no knowledge of either special relationship and would be checking both of our IDs at the gate to the family barbecue. Anyway, just to prove that Britain is a brand, here's the image...      

...and here's the reality:

I missed the party

My Grandma's favourite party, the Democrats,  got through another convention and I missed every speech, other than catching the end of a CNN broadcast here that said Barack Obama's final address was watched by 38 million Americans - more than those who watched the final of American Idol. I'm still not convinced that enough Americans are prepared to vote for a black man and an aging Washington insider over a war hero and a redneck mother of five, but I will gladly eat my words and celebrate should Obama manage to defeat the forces of evil massed against him. Whether he turns out to be anything more than your typical paid-for politician remains to be seen. But I find it sad that Obama is now criticised for being too good an orator. I suppose if Abraham Lincoln were running now, he wouldn't stand a chance (sorry Abe, you are too good at speaking to large crowds, you don't have the common touch). By the way, don't forget to vote in the Tower Tales poll too on the right. You only have until November 4th you know. Lastly, I saw this three score and 10 minutes ago on America's finest news source, and thought I would share it with you good folk (click on the play button):

Portrayal Of Obama As Elitist Hailed As Step Forward For African Americans

Obit for the special relationship

Here's a little (true) story about the difference between American and British English. In my first job as a budding reporter at the Conway Log Cabin Democrat, in between picking up McDonalds breakfasts and massaging weather reports to make everywhere outside of the circulation area unbearably hot in the summer and freezing cold in the winter, I would write obituaries. A typical obit in Conway, back in the early '90s at anyrate, went like this: John "Jack" Jones, 72, a farmer, of Vilonia, died on Tuesday of natural causes. He was a Baptist. He is survived by his wife, Jeanie, a son, John "Jack" Jones Jr and a grandchild, John "Jack" Jones III. But every now and then the publisher would get his knickers in a twist over a local dignitary whose time was up, and then the next one down the food chain, the editor, would shout over to me to stop tucking into my sausage and egg "biscuit" and call round the funeral homes to get the phone numbers of next of kin who might give us a juicy quote. On one such occasion I kept ringing the fellow at the last funeral home on the list, but just couldn't get through, so I sauntered over to the editor who was getting quite fraught as the high noon deadline approached, and told him "I tried to give him a ring, but he was engaged." The correct American English should have been "I tried to call him, but the line was busy." My perfectly correct British English in American English meant I was trying to get married to the poor chap who was betrothed to another. My long-suffering editor's head just sank further into his hands.