Flash Gordon

Forgive me if this is a well-worn joke, but I saw this video on Guido Fawkes, which despite its rightward-lean, is an entertaining and rewarding read.

Anyway, it amused me, and helped me regain my equilibrium after a day at Puroland.

Fun with the financial meltdown

I'm probably off at the shichi-go-san festival as you read this, so let me hand over to my vice president brother-in-law, Matthew, who has passed on this e-mail of vital import about the current financial crisis. There may be a prize for correctly guessing the number of puns:

• Icelandic banks are using COD to honour deals, not Cash on Delivery but the fish which provides them with liquidity.
• The mighty German Frankfurter Bank can no longer cut the mustard while in the far east The Origami bank has folded.
• Furthermore Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut some of it's branches. 
• Yesterday it was also announced that Karaoke Bank, now for sale, will go for a song while shares in Kamikaze Bank have been suspended after they nose-dived.
• Samurai Bank is soldiering on after sharp cutbacks and 500 staff at Karate Bank are facing the chop. Analysts report something fishy at Sushi Bank where staff may also get a raw deal.
• More breaking news in France where Roquefort Bank failed to secure a compensation claim is a case of hard cheese and in Switzerland, to save costs Tag Heuer have gone cuckoo.
  

Enough already. Here's your prize: 60 seconds with the next leader of the free world, and the loser:

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

The view from abroad

While you're reading this, I'm probably "running" our first annual speech day (running around after small children and cajoling the adults into giving a speech), so until the results are in from the day, how about a little slide show and music? This from Ian (also known as Donald) the young chap with a beard (no, not me, I said young chap) who visited us recently with James and Gemma from Derby:

 

Who needs a little help?

While managing to kill the best part of Saturday evening checking e-mail, radically redesigning this blog and then returning it as best I could to the way it was before, I managed to do at least one worthwhile thing. I remembered to donate a little money  to sponsor my brother-in-law who spent Saturday night and Sunday morning cycling 75 miles (125km) cross-country in the dark. Why would he do a thing like that? I'm not sure, but every penny he raised is going to a charity seeking a cure for cystic fibrosis, a life-shortening disease that my niece and nephew were born with. Donating was easy, all I had to do was click on his web page and enter a few numbers, and I felt great, a lot better than my brother-in-law did on Sunday morning, I'd wager. But it got me thinking. I'm running the Teganuma Half-Marathon on October 26th. It's a good opportunity for me to raise some money for charity, but which one should I support? Any suggestions?

Oh, by the way, rest in peace Paul Newman, a rare gent in the Hollywood world who raised more than his fair share for charities. 

A taste of home

It's always nice to get a picture from home. Here's my little sister, Jane, in my hometown of little old Leicester, previously known as the world capital for, er, rather fatty red cheddar and Gary Lineker (below). But wait a minute what's that behind her? A sushi restaurant? In Leicester? Yes folks, it's true. Does this mean Leicester is moving upmarket? I doubt it, it probably just means sushi is becoming more downmarket in Britain. But this is still a reason to celebrate. If I can eat KFC in Japan, I don't see why the good folk of Leicester shouldn't have a taste of the orient. By the way, did I ever tell you about my distant relative, Amos Sherriff, the first Labour Lord Mayor of Leicester...?

Lynwen's lens

Hey folks, here's a little guest feature. I've been trying hard to include lots of pretty pictures with my posts, but I have had no training as a snapper, other than chasing ambulances for the Jacksonville Patriot in Arkansas, hoping for a good crash scene. My philosophy is: get the thing that is interesting in focus and press the button, but apparently there is more to photography than that. A former colleague from the Derby Evening Telegraph, Lynwen Davison, has actually just got a piece of paper (A City and Guilds no less) that says she can take a good photo. And here's the evidence. She clearly likes doorways and statues of dead folk, (and there I was thinking she liked Margaret Attwood and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.) Anyway, Lynwen, you get the job of official Tower Tales Toggie for Great Britain (it carries no salary, but think of the honour). By the way, I particularly liked the cherub making a rude gesture (no, not the first picture, that's Lynwen's daughter, Isobel). I included the scarecrow too for comparison to a Japanese one I snapped. Hmm, which is scarier? 

Auspicious, epochal, farcical

This time of year is auspicious for the Sherriff womenfolk. My wife, sister, stepmother and youngest daughter were all born within two weeks of each other (although on different years). Being the gentleman that I am, I wouldn't dream of revealing my wife's age, but let's just say that yesterday, Yoshie celebrated one of those epochal coming-of-age type ages, but managed to keep her excitement in check to pop out for a spot of clothes shopping and tea drinking while I slaved away at the chalkface. Anyway, amid all the excitement of that, the relegation of my hometown football team, and the spicy Italian we had for dinner (a pizza, that is), I somehow missed the other big story from Britain... the Labour Party imploding in the local elections. Now, dear reader, as a general rule I never heed any political observations from a commentator 6,000 miles from his subject, and I wouldn't expect you to from me, but may I just state for the record, ahem, PULL YOUR FINGER OUT GORDON! How bad things must be if Labour polled third behind the twit-led Tories and the rudderless Lib Dems. And Boris Johnson is mayor of London? It's almost enough to make you want to emigrate.

Had my fill

We've had a lovely weekend, I spent Saturday night in downtown Tokyo supping a beer or two and scoffing some not bad tandoori chicken with former Daily Yomiuri colleagues, and then on Sunday we had a great time with our friends from Kamakura chomping through some yaki nikku (cuts of beef and any vegetables left in the fridge, fried on a hot plate on the dinning room table), when I just thought I'd check out the internet and see how Leicester City Football Club were doing, and blow me if they haven't got themselves relegated to the old third division, their worst position in history. It wasn't so long ago that I was supping a beer in Takadanobaba (although it sounds like something James Brown would shout into the microphone, it is actually a suburb of Tokyo) watching LCFC take on Spurs for the League Cup (which the mighty Foxes managed to miss out on then). I suppose it's only justice after the schadenfreude of seeing Nottingham Forest fall through the same trap door a couple of seasons ago. It's all too depressing to dwell on, so here are some pretty pictures to look at instead.

Teganuma lake. The odd-looking Mosque-like building is actually a water museum.

Emma/Snow White in our front garden. 

Two little mermaids on a rock beside the lake. 

London calling

Think you've got it tough? Spare a thought for one of my students. Her husband's company decided to pack him off to London for two or three years (at their discretion) with less than a month's notice. Oh, and by the way, my student, who had no particular interest in moving from their newly bought flat, is pregnant with their second child. So shacho and I have been working feverishly on a survival course for her stint in London, and I have to say, she has coped amazingly with her change in circumstances. I have high hopes she will thrive in the Big Smoke. For her last lesson, she said she wanted a few pointers of what to expect in her new life so the culture shock wouldn't be terminal as she left the terminal, er, so to speak. Anyroad, here is our top 10 list of the key cultural differences hard for Japanese to fathom, but which they must negotiate to survive life in Blighty:

1. Trains are often delayed or cancelled altogether. In fact, trains are so often late that a 10 minute delay on an intercity train is considered being on time.
2. If you make an appointment with a plumber for 2pm, he may well not show up until 5pm and very often will not show up at all. You should wait one hour after the hypothetical arrival time before ringing to enquire politely where the blazes the so and so is.
   
3. When going to a party, it is rude to arrive on time. A quarter or half an hour late is far more polite.
4. Neighbours will often feed your cat if you go on holiday, and expect reciprocal rights.
5. Never leave anything you value out of sight. This includes bags, wallets and children.
6. Never leave your car running as you pop into the newsagents.
7. Never sign or buy anything from people at your door or on the phone.
8. Electricity bills are based on inaccurate estimates and come every three months. Water bills have to be paid twice a year. Council tax is every month, except at Christmas. Always check bills because they are frequently wrong.
9. You can't survive without a car, but driving in London has been made as inconvenient as possible.
10. Nobody wants you to see a doctor. When trying to make an appointment, if asked "Is it urgent?" always answer "Yes , it's urgent."