London calling

Think you've got it tough? Spare a thought for one of my students. Her husband's company decided to pack him off to London for two or three years (at their discretion) with less than a month's notice. Oh, and by the way, my student, who had no particular interest in moving from their newly bought flat, is pregnant with their second child. So shacho and I have been working feverishly on a survival course for her stint in London, and I have to say, she has coped amazingly with her change in circumstances. I have high hopes she will thrive in the Big Smoke. For her last lesson, she said she wanted a few pointers of what to expect in her new life so the culture shock wouldn't be terminal as she left the terminal, er, so to speak. Anyroad, here is our top 10 list of the key cultural differences hard for Japanese to fathom, but which they must negotiate to survive life in Blighty:

1. Trains are often delayed or cancelled altogether. In fact, trains are so often late that a 10 minute delay on an intercity train is considered being on time.
2. If you make an appointment with a plumber for 2pm, he may well not show up until 5pm and very often will not show up at all. You should wait one hour after the hypothetical arrival time before ringing to enquire politely where the blazes the so and so is.
   
3. When going to a party, it is rude to arrive on time. A quarter or half an hour late is far more polite.
4. Neighbours will often feed your cat if you go on holiday, and expect reciprocal rights.
5. Never leave anything you value out of sight. This includes bags, wallets and children.
6. Never leave your car running as you pop into the newsagents.
7. Never sign or buy anything from people at your door or on the phone.
8. Electricity bills are based on inaccurate estimates and come every three months. Water bills have to be paid twice a year. Council tax is every month, except at Christmas. Always check bills because they are frequently wrong.
9. You can't survive without a car, but driving in London has been made as inconvenient as possible.
10. Nobody wants you to see a doctor. When trying to make an appointment, if asked "Is it urgent?" always answer "Yes , it's urgent."