I'm probably off at the shichi-go-san festival as you read this, so let me hand over to my vice president brother-in-law, Matthew, who has passed on this e-mail of vital import about the current financial crisis. There may be a prize for correctly guessing the number of puns:
- Icelandic banks are using COD to honour deals, not Cash on Delivery but the fish which provides them with liquidity.
- The mighty German Frankfurter Bank can no longer cut the mustard while in the far east The Origami bank has folded.
- Furthermore Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut some of it's branches.
- Yesterday it was also announced that Karaoke Bank, now for sale, will go for a song while shares in Kamikaze Bank have been suspended after they nose-dived.
- Samurai Bank is soldiering on after sharp cutbacks and 500 staff at Karate Bank are facing the chop. Analysts report something fishy at Sushi Bank where staff may also get a raw deal.
- More breaking news in France where Roquefort Bank failed to secure a compensation claim is a case of hard cheese and in Switzerland, to save costs Tag Heuer have gone cuckoo.
Enough already. Here's your prize: 60 seconds with the next leader of the free world, and the loser:
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