Half a million reasons not to commute

A joy of working from home is I don't have to brave the Tokyo commuter trains. I remember being squeezed onto Tozai line trains 10 years ago and getting so scrunched up that I couldn't move to prevent the beads of sweat from the forehead of the bloke next to me dripping onto my shoulder. But almost equally annoying were the incessant announcements to inform you of the blinking obvious. 

• "Attention, attention, Platform 2. There is a train coming. It will be coming shortly. Please don't stand close to the platform edge."
• "Attention, attention the train is now approaching."
• "Be careful, there is a train here. Be careful getting in because the doors will shut automatically."
• "Be careful now you are on the train because the doors will shut behind you."
• "At the next stop, the doors on the left side will open, automatically. Please be careful." 

And so it goes on, and on at every stop. There are about a dozen stations from here to Ueno, downtown Tokyo, so in a single day the poor commuter, let's call him Mr Abiko, will be told that the doors are automatic (wow, really? They close all by themselves?) on at least three dozen occasions. Over his lifetime, Abiko-san will be told about the magical mystery doors on the train he takes every day at least half a million times, by my calculations. You'd think the odd yearly reminder in the post would be more than enough.