Cocko's coming

Ryokan (Japanese inn) Tomimasu, where Cocko and mates will be staying, if they can find their way back from karaoke in one piece.

 

Just got an e-mail confirming that another former Derby Evening Telegraph colleague, James "Cocko" Coxon, is popping over to Japan for an extended doss, er, cultural exploration and I am delighted that he has seen fit to come out my way to take in the local waters and appreciate the wonders of the 24-hour karaoke box with us. In his honour, I thought I might offer some advice relevant to anyone who wishes to nip on over to Nippon:

• Don't bring travellers' cheques. Even banks here don't really understand the concept.
• Never tip anyone (not a problem in Cocko's case) - it's considered rude - why bribe someone for doing their job?
• Don't open or close the rear taxi door - the driver does it with a little handle from the front.
• If you don't know how to say it in Japanese, try saying it in English but with an exagerated Japanese accent. It might work, and if not, it is amusing for the locals.
•  When figuring out how much things are, there are roughly 200 yen to the pound - knock two zeros off the price tag and halve what's left to tell you what it would be in Sterling.
• Everything is on time. Don't arrive two minutes late for a train thinking it will be late, Cocko. It won't be.
• If in doubt, smile, shrug give a little bow and carry on regardless.