Happy Halloween!

Pretty scary, huh? Mind you, John McCain seems like a breath of fresh air in Japan, which has been stuck with one-party rule since 1945 (with a brief exception in the 1990s after the Japanese economic miracle bubble miraculously burst). Japan does have a new prime minister who promised new elections, but he has decided the severity of the world's economic crisis means it's a bad time to exercise democracy (that, and his extremely low approval ratings).

By the way, don't worry, the white background will be back tomorrow once the, er, excitement of Halloween has passed.

All aboard the political express

Just to give you a clue about Tower Tales' coverage of the American Presidential Election on November 4th. I wanted to make sure every reader is completely clear on the political objectivity of Tower Tales. Allow me to demonstrate with the aid of a handy graphic I found lying around in my Google in-box:

As you can see, from here on in, the election coverage will be completely partial, biased and one-sided. For your chance to vote in the election, click here.

After the harvest

I rather liked this sight of, I suppose you would call them haystacks, in rice paddies shortly after the harvest near Teganuma. And in a not entirely unrelated shot, here is my dad and little sister with their harvest. This picture was beamed via mobile phone all the way to Tower Tales from their allotment in Leicester on the same day I took my picture. Now there's a good use of technology.

You don't have any bananas do you?

Architectural feat

I've been told that the Japanese don't go in for DIY, that they prefer things made expertly by others and are prepared to pay top dollar (especially at the current exchange rate) for the finished article. So it was particularly refreshing for me to discover this homemade monstrosity 10 minute's bike ride away in the wilds of Shibasakidai.

Is this a warehouse, shed or sport utility vehicle? No matter, whoever made it was happy to use whatever was at hand, be it a couple of old doors, piece of corrugated iron or tarpaulin and the end result is, well, more borg collective than des res. I'm not that sure the neighbours, a swanky old folks' home, are too chuffed with the view though... 

For more fun with buildings, click here.

Photo finish?

Not only did my neighbours show up in force to cheer me on through the Teganuma Eco-Marathon yesterday, but one of them, Ishihara-san, captured a few key moments in the race: 

The "athletes" clear the 15km point, marked by the family restaurant Coco's and a whopping great bridge over the lake. 

One of the highly professional runners spots his family in the crowd...

... and proceeds to lose his place in the race posing for his wife, who somehow pressed the wrong button and videoed her thumb.

I made it!

Just a quick note to say I finished the Teganuma Eco-Marathon in one piece. My somewhat ambitious target time for the 21km was 2 hours and I finished only 22 seconds over. I owe a lot of thanks for that time to the British-like overcast weather, Nick and the folks at the NEC running club who took me under their wing and showed me how to warm up properly for the race, Taiko who waved a homemade Union Jack at me, my neighbours who ran alongside me for at least 10m, Sabri and family who cheered me on in far distant Kohoku, and my own family who hung around to cheer me and later let me nap through the afternoon. A final word of thanks goes to all the people who have donated some cash in these hard times for books for poor folk in sub-Saharan Africa. So far, you all have helped me raise 170 pounds - about ¥30,000 - but there is still time to donate if you haven't done so already. The target is 250 pounds - about ¥50,000 - which would buy 200 books. Right, cheers all. Where did I put my Suntory?  

Got to run

While you are waiting for the results to come in to see if my strenuous training routine has paid off for the Teganuma Eco-Marathon -- results due around 2:00pm Sunday Japan time (6:00am Blighty Standard Time) -- why not sponsor me here. All the money raised will go to buy books for folk in sub-Saharan Africa. Why should you make a donation? Let's review:

• Reason #7: What with the global financial meltdown, money's not worth anything anyway.
• Reason #6: Donate even a little, and then I'll stop going on about it, and get back to funny videos of cats on treadmills and mildly subversive swipes at Republican presidential hopefuls.
  
• Reason #5: Using your credit cards to make a charitable donation is like giving twice - not only will you help the poorest kids in Africa, but you will also alleviate the credit crunch thus oiling the wheels of capitalism (which oppressed the continent in the first place). Er, on second thoughts...
  
• Reason #4: Every five pounds (¥1,000) raised means four new books for the poorest people in the world. If they read all of them, they are more than qualified to be Vice President of the USA.
  
• Reason #3: Consider a donation a small repayment on the hours of fun you can get from reading Tower Tales.
  
• Reason #2: Sub-Saharan Africa is pro-Obama.
  
• Reason#1: If you don't help these folk, who the hell will?

If the world could vote...

...Obama would  be president. Speaking as a resident of the rest of the world, it comes as no surprise that Obama has streaked ahead of McCain in the affections of non-Americans. He can string more than three sentences together, he's not related to any former presidents and his middle name doesn't bother two-thirds of the world. Anyway, here is a little Gallup map of the world according to voting intentions, if we had the right to choose our world's leader. The grey/blue parts are pro-Obama, the yellow, don't know/don't care and the red are pro-McCain. Not a lot of red is there? Click here to visit the interactive map and see how your favoured country would vote. Peeved about having no vote? You have eight days left to vote in the Tower Tales poll on the right. I note that "None of the above" is giving my Grandma's Party a run for their money, but I have hope Obama can swing it.

Speaking of a world desperate for change, I'm running a half-marathon round the lake near my house on Sunday. You can still sponsor me here. Why should you?

• Reason #2: Sub-Saharan Africa is pro-Obama.

Fish tales

It almost goes without saying, but Japanese love fish. They love ornamental fish and of course they love to eat fish. They eat just about every kind there is, from jellyfish to whale (neither of which are really fish). Baked, fried, marinated, stewed, pickled, dried and of course raw, fish can be consumed in a startling variety of ways here. So, it is a little disappointing to see the keen angler eager to pit his skills against the natural world to catch his own dinner stuck on the banks of a congested manmade pool with half of Abiko's retirees in attendance.

Speaking of a congested manmade pool, I'm running a half-marathon round the lake near my house on Sunday. You can still sponsor me here. Why should you?

• Reason #3: Consider a donation a small repayment on the hours of fun you can get from reading Tower Tales.

Shichi-go-san, part III - or 'Give us a twirl, girls'

Is it possible to move gracefully while wearing a kimono? The fleeting beauty of the kimono-clad young geisha serving green tea with subtle nods of the head and flashes of the nape of the neck is often celebrated. But how easy is it to actually get up and move in something that takes an hour and several pairs of hands to put on? Well, here is a video from the girls' 7-5-3 ceremony to demonstrate how to move with - here come some technical terms -  all the bits and bobs that hang down:

Speaking of moving gracefully, did you know on Sunday, I'm running a half-marathon round the lake near my house. You can still sponsor me here. Why should you?

• Reason #4: Every five pounds (¥1,000) raised means four new books for the poorest people in the world. If they read all of them, they are more than qualified to be Vice President of the USA.
  

Nothing to fear but beer itself

It looks like my worst fears are being realised... Obama is behind in the polls? My wife has bought a family ticket for Disneyland? No, far worse. In the wake of the banana shortage due to the stupid banana diet, I stupidly spoke my mind in the blog post:

Here's hoping no-one ever loses weight on a Suntory Malts beer diet.

Well, it looks like the agents for the beer giants have taken my advice to heart. My friends, I was only joking. I take it back. Please.

Speaking of  losing weight, ahem,  on Sunday, I'm running a half-marathon round the lake near my house. You can still sponsor me here. Why should you?

• Reason #5: Using your credit cards to make a charitable donation is like giving twice - not only will you help the poorest kids in Africa, but you will also alleviate the credit crunch thus oiling the wheels of capitalism (which oppressed the continent in the first place). Er, on second thoughts...

Insider's view - Shichi-go-san Part II

It's not everyday that you get blessed by a shinto priest (pictured above), and even rarer when you video it and put it on the internet for everyone to see. Granted,  these are not the most exciting clips you can get on the internet. I'm aware that there are far more "world's funniest cat/dog/rabbit on a treadmill" clips than anyone could possibly dream of out there, but I figured you don't see this everyday. Normally, the closest even an adventurous tourist might get to this is wandering aimlessly around a shrine wondering what on earth it is all about. Well, wander/wonder no more. The first clip features our friendly parish priest getting the attention of the gods and chanting a prayer to wish good luck upon the handful of three, five and seven-year-olds gathered for their 7-5-3 ceremony:

Have you even been blessed by a shinto priest? No? Well, here's your chance, just bow your head reverently when he starts, er, doing his bit:

Speaking of doing your bit, on Sunday, I'm running a half-marathon round the lake near my house. You can still sponsor me here. Why should you?

• Reason #6: Donate even a little, and then I'll stop going on about it, and get back to funny videos of cats on treadmills and mildly subversive swipes at Republican presidential hopefuls.

Shichi-go-san, part I

The girls got to live out their dream yesterday - not the one involving moving to Tokyo Disney Sea - but to be proper little princesses for the 7-5-3 festival. At least, that's what we told them to keep Emma happy (she had a temper tantrum in the morning at home, declaring she was not going to wear a kimono). I think you might agree from the pictures, we're glad we convinced her royal highness to do the business.

By the way, on Sunday, I'm running a half-marathon round the lake near my house. You can still sponsor me here. Why should you?

• Reason #7: What with the global financial meltdown, money's not worth anything anyway. 
  

Fun with the financial meltdown

I'm probably off at the shichi-go-san festival as you read this, so let me hand over to my vice president brother-in-law, Matthew, who has passed on this e-mail of vital import about the current financial crisis. There may be a prize for correctly guessing the number of puns:

• Icelandic banks are using COD to honour deals, not Cash on Delivery but the fish which provides them with liquidity.
• The mighty German Frankfurter Bank can no longer cut the mustard while in the far east The Origami bank has folded.
• Furthermore Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut some of it's branches. 
• Yesterday it was also announced that Karaoke Bank, now for sale, will go for a song while shares in Kamikaze Bank have been suspended after they nose-dived.
• Samurai Bank is soldiering on after sharp cutbacks and 500 staff at Karate Bank are facing the chop. Analysts report something fishy at Sushi Bank where staff may also get a raw deal.
• More breaking news in France where Roquefort Bank failed to secure a compensation claim is a case of hard cheese and in Switzerland, to save costs Tag Heuer have gone cuckoo.
  

Enough already. Here's your prize: 60 seconds with the next leader of the free world, and the loser:

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

Separated at birth?

Is it me or does Republican candidate for US President John McCain have an uncanny resemblance to another aging American hero?

John McCain

Winnie the Pooh

It's all in the cheeks. OK, so Winnie the Pooh was originally British before Disney's colonisation, but we're all Americans now. Sort of. By the way, did you know that Winnie the Pooh is known as Pooh-san in Japan?

If you think this post is vaguely amusing, why not show your appreciation by making a donation, no matter how small, Cocko, to a worthwhile cause... just click here. And, thanks Kevin and Angie, as trained librarians I knew you couldn't resist this charity.

Green with envy

What a load of rubbish. No, not the third and final presidential debate, but the collection point for our block just outside our house. This was the sight that greeted me yesterday morning, which being Thursday, meant recycle day - or if you are an enterprising foreigner with no shame - rummage-through-and-see-if-there's-anything-worth-taking day. Usually, in amongst the neatly tied up newspapers, glass bottles sorted according to colour, plastic PET bottles stashed in green nets and plastic packaging in plastic bags, there's the odd gem like a set of golf clubs or collection of antique books or perfectly usable plant pots. This morning, however, there were four adult bikes left, that appear to need only a little oil and the tyres pumping up. I would have liberated them but for the fact that we already have all the bikes we need and their re-sale value is next to nothing. Still, seems like a terrible waste though. This is a country where Ebay has never really taken off.

They call him the wanderer...

It almost makes you feel sorry for McCain when you see his performance in the second presidential debate lampooned by the American talk show establishment. Almost, but not quite:

But then, read the thoughtful endorsement of Obama by cult journo Christopher Hitchens here, and you can actually feel sympathy. McCain deserves a break, and a seat, but not necessarily in government.

Speaking of sympathy, do you have any for me? Remember, I'm pitting my 37-year-old, instant-coffee-fueled body against the wilds of Teganuma lake in a half-marathon a week on Sunday. Many thanks to those who have donated to the charity Book Aid (you've both been very kind), but for those who haven't, brother can you spare a digital dime? Click here to help me on my way.

Redesign time, or delusions of grandeur

You may well be asking yourself, hey, what's going on with the blog? Didn't it used to be a Danubian (or at least a Leicester City FC) blue? And what's with the picture at the top, and where's all that extra gumpf down the right hand side that I used to ignore? Allow me to explain... like all editors, I couldn't resist a little tinker with the style. Added to that the auspicious occasion of the first anniversary of Tower English last week, and you have an unstoppable mandate for change. Here are the main features:

• No white text on blue background. Black text on a white background is easier to read, especially for the old 'uns among us who learnt to read with those old-fangled things called books.
• Nice picture behind the masthead (as it used to be called in newspaper parlance). The picture sums up something of what this blog is about - an innocent abroad trying to get to grips with the new surroundings (and is that a yawn, or a gasp of astonishment from Emma? You decide).
• Less gumpf down the side. Fear not, the links and glossary are all still here, just not on the front page - click on the keywords above the posts to find them. Joining them are two more links - "Contact" (for sending me an e-mail) and "About" to explain to new readers the, er, philosophy of Tower Tales, such as it is.
• The eagle-eyed will notice the text fonts are the same as before and the colour scheme is identical to the sister blog, Tower Talk. All part of the corporate identity, folks.

So what do you think of the new look? 

  

Dutch courage

Ah, more of the joys of walking by Teganuma. Spend any time here at this beguiling spot of a playground with a fake windmill beside a tributary to the lake, and you could almost believe that you were in the Dutch countryside enjoying the taste of Edam and the smell of, er, clogs... almost but for one jarring detail... 

... the whopping great electricity pylon next door.

Something to get your teeth into

Katherine's been waiting for this moment for about a month. A third baby tooth is now history and her tooth fairy takings are up to ¥1,500. How better to celebrate than to pop down to Teganuma and visit my personal favourite piece of public art, a sort of upturned tooth. Much better than the water sprites at the lake or a lot of the public art in Tokyo.

Flower child

One of the nicest things about working from home is, every now and then, I get time off for good behaviour, and rather than spend time stuck on a commuter train or whiling away the odd hour in a McDonald's, can take a stroll along the path by the lake near my house. Here, I enjoyed the walk with my biker daughter Emma. Get on your trike and ride.

In case you missed it, my friends

I was chatting to an American friend the other day who bemoaned the dumbing down of politics in the US. He wondered when ignorance began to be more electable than knowledge. He figured it began in 1980 with the advent of Reagan, I think it probably goes back before then, but my attention span isn't what it used to be, so, in keeping with current political discourse, here are the one-minute highlights of the second presidential debate (now, there's a smart idea):

But is it art (or engineering)?

So what's going on here then? This slightly odd piece of public art in the middle of Teganuma is not a tribute to the asexual flapper girls of the roaring '20s as I thought glancing at it while training for the Eco-Marathon (yes, that was a laboured plug to remind you all to donate a little loose digital change for a worthwhile cause, click here to ease your conscience). No, these are in fact supposed to be kappa water sprites. At least, that's what I've been told. Looking at the information plaque (below) tells onlookers nothing about why or what the thing is, but tells an awful lot about its exact size, distance from the shore and height of the plume when the fountain is switched on - which it wasn't when I was there, as you can see. For pictures of the wildlife of Teganuma, click here.

 

Banana diet - it's crackers

Hot on the heels of the Chinese dumpling crisis, baby milk contamination and butter shortage, comes another food flap in Japan. The slightly comical yellow fruit (pictured left for those unable to remember what a banana looks like) is harder to find here than elbow room on a rush-hour train. Yoshie first noticed the lack of the things last week when she was trying to stock up for her banana diet (which entails eating only a banana for breakfast with a glass of tepid water, and then anything you like for the rest of the day). Apparently, she was not alone in following this nonsensical food fad, half of Japan seems to be on this diet - hence the shortage. Why? Apparently some fat Japanese opera singer lost weight while on this diet and went and told a TV show. Here's hoping no-one ever loses weight on a Suntory Malts beer diet.

New chapter for Tower English

Did I mention I like books? Did you know I teach, that I have two children and I'm running round Teganuma, the half-marathon-sized lake near my house? Enough questions already. Well, after reading about the late Paul Newman's achievements for charity, I thought I would emulate him in a small way and do something worthwhile that combines my passions. So, I've decided to seek sponsorship for my epic trek round Teganuma to raise some money for Book Aid, a charity that distributes books to the poorest communities in the world. For those new to giving online, here's how it works:

1. Click on my sponsorship page, or on the "widget" on the right.
2. Enter how much money you would like to donate (in pounds - there are about ¥200 to one pound), and write a message, or donate anonymously.
3. Fill out the online credit card details.
4. The money will then be sent directly to the charity.
5. I then huff and puff round Teganuma.

Book Aid reckons that for every five pounds (¥1,000) donated, they can distribute four books to people in the poorest area of the world, sub-Saharan Africa. Why books and not food and medicine? There are other charities that do that, but I believe that knowledge is power and what you can learn from reading might save a life, teach new skills vital to escape poverty, or at the very least, give children a window on the world. If we could raise 250 pounds (¥50,000) that would mean 200 books for those in need. What do you say? I've donated 20 pounds (¥4,000) from Tower English's coffers to get started, can you add to that?

Picture poser

I was cleaning out the photos clogging up my hard drive last night, and came across this picture I snapped in the dog days of August. Where do you think the Sherriff posse were? How about this picture to help... 

Give up? We are actually on the roof of Abisuta, our local library/community centre, overlooking the lake, Teganuma, which I will be running around on the 26th of October. I'm still deciding what charity to support, so stay tuned folks...

After the party

Emma struggles to stay awake.

We're all recovering from the party yesterday with 115 of our closest friends of Tower-English. Not only were there speeches from some of our students - 32 children and five adults braved public scrutiny 

of their English - but we also had two former students and two native speakers offering their two-pence too. I was so busy, I didn't take a single picture or video, which was a grave PR error on my part, but in my defence, I was too busy doing my job to film me doing my job. However, Tower English's unofficial photographer May Arai was on hand to snap away, so we're looking forward to what she has to offer. Click here to see the official report on our sister blog, Tower Talk...

 

The view from abroad

While you're reading this, I'm probably "running" our first annual speech day (running around after small children and cajoling the adults into giving a speech), so until the results are in from the day, how about a little slide show and music? This from Ian (also known as Donald) the young chap with a beard (no, not me, I said young chap) who visited us recently with James and Gemma from Derby:

 

You decide...

One of the following could be the leader of the Western World should something happen to the President. Who would you trust in that position? 

 

Now vote. If you can't, vote in the poll on the right. By the way, Hillary probably can't win now.

Signed up, signed off

It's been a tiring week, what with preparing for our one-year-in-business-and-still-surviving speech day, planning our school Halloween parties as well as teaching all our regular lessons, so how better to relax than to go shopping. When you suffer from sub-editors/English teacher's syndrome - the constant need to correct bad English signs - shopping can get stressful. In England, the syndrome usually means getting easily offended by the absence of apostrophes. In Japan, however, you have a lot more to get your teeth into. The use of English on signs here seems to be for spin rather than susbstance, and is usually one of three types:

1. Nearly but not quite: This grating sign greets me every time I leave Abiko station:

2. Excellent English, but somewhat inappropriate. This in the Abiko McDonald's:

3. Complete gibberish. This above a pair of shorts in a shop:

One year of independence

Folks, today is an auspicious day indeed. Not only has the visit counter hit 1776 - the year of America's foundation - and the US Vice Presidential candidates are ready to rumble in a few hours, but it is also another anniversary. It was one year ago today that Tower English opened its doors to three mothers and their toddlers for our first playgroup. We had a grand total of three students signed up for weekly lessons and we had only about as much money in the bank as the Lehman Brothers do now, but how the investment bank must be looking enviously at our balance sheet now. It's often said that going into business on your own is risky, but as the current financial crisis confirms, doing the same old thing is even riskier. Anyway, we've been lucky and are holding a party on Sunday at the local community centre to give thanks with over 100 guests connected to our school. We'll definitely be showing up, unlike a certain guest on Letterman, America's pre-eminent talk show:

Would you buy a used car from this man?

Well, he's not a actually man, he is a tanuki. The beast exists in real life, translated clumsily into English as a "raccoon dog". They still live in the remoter areas of Japan, and their effigies can be seen outside many pubs and eateries throughout the nation as they are mythically fond of a beer and a good time. Though quite what he is doing strapped to the side of second-hand car dealership in downtown Kounoyama, I don't know, ditto the fibreglass pig:

And as for the Halloween-esque Minnie Mouse, I can only say she is almost as scary as the real thing.